Utter disregard

D=

ohnozohnoz.

This isn't good at all.

it's what you do, not say.

so despite my love of being low key, I still would've liked to feel like a celebrant. Wouldn't you?

But oh, it was only a few days before a (major, future-determining) event.
bloody crap, di-anne, don't be selfish.
(inner child demanding attention)

sigh. Hello, adulthood.

but it would've been so nice if--

nevermind.

Occasionally, regardless of my abhorrence for tack, predictability, and the seeming childishness of certain rituals, ... well, let's just say I was wistful, and leave it at that.

PS Obvs I want attention because I would not be posting this publicly otherwise. But truthfully I know well enough to not be an idiot tyvm. Just complainin' to the world.

PPS At least I had you. Of course you were stymied by my reluctance to share (or, as most people would call it, selfishness), but then you just accepted it and moved on.

Note to self: That's what people do. They move on.

This post brought to you by the letter V for Vague, and W for Whiny.

abstract emotions are abstrackt.

I was just wondering about the need to make love tangible.

ESO BESO

damn Eso Beso (Helmut Lottie version) is stuck in my head because mother INISISTS ON PLAYING THE DAMN THING ON REPEAT OMG.

ESO BESO, OOOO THAT KISS. ESO BESO, OOOO YOUR KISS. IT'S GOT SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW WHAAAAAT. BUT WHATEVER IT'S GOT, IT'S GOT ALOT.

I don't even know if "eso beso" has a meaning.
yeah, okay.
So as a consequence of being a complete ass, prospects don't look bright. but if I haul ass (again with the gluteal analogy), things may happen.
I love being vague.
You know when people do something for you? Altruism my foot. That is also for their self-satisfaction. Y'see, when you give someone a present, for example, you're looking for that feel good factor of having them be impressed/euphoric with your gift (yes there is of course an element of wanting to give someone something, but that's not the point I'm talking about here (hah avoidance much)). So the receivee will feel obliged (in most cases; outliers excepted) to express joy at said gift, even if it is just a photoframe.
When you do something, you gotta get it back.

cynical dee is cynical.

By the way, tomorrow is the day my childhood dies. Well not really, but this is the year society decrees I grow up. Screw you, society. I'll find my own balance between play and work. Granted, right now the scale is sliding towards "Endless Fun and Consequently No Future", but I'm working on it. I am an adult (ho hum).