A Document of What I Think.

my grandfather

2010-08-08T13:49:00.002+08:00

was a kind man.
he liked cigarettes and fried chicken.
he lived to be 95.
goodbye.

you wish your love could see you grow older

2010-03-01T18:51:00.001+08:00

oh jonsi how i adore you already. i cannot wait for april 5th (or maybe i can, since that means it is closer to doomsday)

Jónsi - Go Do

*chants* i will not download the leak, i will not download the leak, i will not.

Jónsi & Alex Recipe Show - Macadamia Monster Mash

i love your boyfriend too

aaand nothing else of much note has happened (besides that fact that i am kind of sick. you may have heard).
onoz homework.

i won't stop until that boy is mine

2010-02-06T12:33:00.000+08:00

:O

ty sue vern for getting that song stuck in my head, which i was never really fond of in the first place (Y).

today is the day i do my homework.

brb watching being human then procrastinating.

OH I HAVE FOUND A RUSSELL TOVEY LOOKALIKE. FIRST ZQ NOW RUSSELL. THIS IS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER.

the vilification of lonelines

2010-02-03T20:01:00.000+08:00

is sadly rampant.

to be lonely is to be creepy and suspicious. it is to be a lurker, to “not belong”, to be abnormal, subnormal.

this is pretty much yet another manifestation of society’s inability to accept the different. don’t want to join in? we reject you, utterly, before you can even defend yourself.

why do we not allow people to be alone? why do we suspect them of planning the most dastardly of deeds, the most gruesome of crimes, the most immoral of acts?

and in extension, why the constant pressure to ~find your soulmate?

(digression: this was brought to mind by that highly whiny “two is better than one” excuse for a song by whatsthatband and whatsherface, but then there have always been cheesy love songs about finding the one, among them most recently “haven’t met you yet” which frankly is a hope-song for the currently lonely, which again brings me back to my point of why do we not allow the lonely to be alone?)

i suppose the problem is that i am not sure if i can stand to be lonely anymore. i used to revel in it, to enjoy the sheer freedom of not being obligated to anyone, but since i chanced upon a social life (and an “other half”, ho hum) completely by accident (i swear), i feel gaps when i am alone. i like to think i am still as comfortable with my thoughts, but there are missing things.

(damn you acclimatisation. i need to revert asap)

people must be afraid of themselves, to fear solitude so much. when you are alone, you have to face every facet of yourself. yes, those are your thoughts floating in the dark deep recesses of your mind, and those are your hopes and dreams and fears. this is the very essence of yourself, distilled into a pool of what is unapologetically you.

summary: i have begun to fear myself, and i need to stop.

(this was supposed to be a longer post; i need to learn how to organise my ideas)

where do we go/nobody knows

2010-02-03T01:10:00.000+08:00

i am contemplating buying that radiohead best of.

so, i fell asleep at 6pm and just got up at 12 am for dinner. wat just happened.

am now, at 1am, waiting for the hot water so i can have a bath.

and, hopefully, go back to sleep.

(people are hard to figure out)
(but i still like them)

new favourite word:

2010-01-29T18:16:00.002+08:00

Bleed.
not just in the sense of blood exiting flesh, but mostly the sense of insidious, sly, seeping.

this occured to me in history today (WHERE I COULD HAVE SAT NEXT TO UNF GUY BUT I HAD TO BE ~LOYAL TO NOMI rofl) because i was sitting in front of an overhead projector (digression: i really need to work on remembering the spelling of tricky words i.e. projecter, independant, relevent), which would have been a completely innocuous projector had it not been sitting directly in front of one of those dinky mounted-whiteboard-on-an-easel things, which i always see as either a cute or pathetic extension of the vast gleaming expanse of a whiteboard, depending on mood (digression: don't you just love how white is always the signifier of all things good? purity, cleanliness, innocence, potential. well for once you can fuck off, white, because you may have noticed that in the real world, white always turns to grey. life is too dirty for the maintenance (another tricky word) of impossible ideals. at this point i may have decided to dedicate my life to filth and degradation, but hey, i'm still young. plans can fuck off too, it seems (who am i kidding, i have the same wants as the rest of them).

sorry, i was rambling about bleed, yes.
anywho (which is a completely random word that seems to have usurped the position of "anyhow" which i love because it is an example of the fluidity of language through time), bleed is an absolutely lovely word because of the connotations of slow, steady creeping. be it sly infiltration--

oh wait i was going on about that OHP in history class, um (i have this problem with structuring my arguments in essays too, no worries):
so the ohp, in front of the dinky whiteboard, and you know how those whiteboards are mounted on steel easels? but you can still see the border of the whiteboard, and the screws that hold it in place? well on this one, on the right, the paint from the easel had bled onto the whiteboard frame. i could not stop staring at it (which is unsurprising, it was history, ho hum) because it was... well i was puzzled, to be perfectly honest. how did that paint get there? was the easel repainted after mounting (har, har)? why did the paint seep only on that lower right side? did it gain sentience and decide to migrate, molecule by molecule?
so the bleeding of paint, the bleeding of erythrocytes (ngl i had to look this up; sorry pn lim), the bleeding of ideas.

you know how it's like when you wake up from a bizarre dream and you try to remember it and it bleeds through your fingers like so much water?
you know what it's like when you someone defects from your circle of comradeship and bleeds their hearts into another puddle of conformity (this isn't in reference to anything, i swear)?
you know what it's like when your heart - an overly romanticised bag of valves and vessels - feels like its bleeding, but it really isn't because you would be dead in point five of a nanosecond and are just a neurotic bitch?

i am not sure what was the point of this post

(it sounded better in my head)

(also bleeding - the physical kind - is less painful and/or cathartic than you may have thought. trust me, i have an epidermis-thinning strain of eczema)

today's apotheosis of Bleed brought to you by:
an old wound.

(yes that is a scissors you see on the left. yes i used it in an attempt to gouge splinter out. happy times.)

nothing makes me bawl like Doctor Who

2010-01-03T02:22:00.000+08:00

To be perfectly honest I dunno if I'll miss Tennant. He had four seasons, for heaven's sake. That's three more than Eccleston >=(.

But omg Matt Smith. You had me at "I'm a girl!?"

EoT felt like a goodbye to RTD as well. Since he used the excuse of Ten saying goodbye to revisit all his old characters. Sheesh.

Also Russell Tovey! *squee!*

I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO ELEVEN'S SERIES NOW.

New years' pie

2010-01-02T22:16:00.000+08:00

Was apple with Gruyere crust.

Verdict: soggy, but edible.

Note to self: Get pie pan.

I feel somewhat obliged.

2009-12-31T03:13:00.003+08:00

Even though I do like to go on about how calenders are a human invention and time is a way for mankind to keep track of sunrises and sunsets (and seasons, if you're in more temperate climes), blah blah.

Because this year was ~*~lifechanging~*~

Ho hum. I escaped from the clique-ey, confidence sucking black hole that was the high school down the road, and found college. Which is like school, but better? The people are better. The knowledge is better (and more relevant to my interests). Am still socially awkward and painfully self conscious, but am more at ease with uselessness in social situations.

(It is 3 am and I am incomprehensible)

I also found ONTD, and started using my Google Reader properly, which has been... educational? (I haven't been reading ONTD_political as often as I should).

My ever present sense of detachment means, though, that essentially this year was just another 365 days of living/reading/lingering as I wait for the scepter of death.

But then, let me sum it up for you in a slightly more optimistic mind map

That should work.

Oh also this person

unflattering photo notwithstanding, has contributed to my sense of self and emotional stability. Thanks for letting me use you to make me feel good.

Er, that had more unfortunate implications than I had intended.

So basically in 2009, as in all other sets of 365 days before it:

Things Happened, And I Was Affected By Them.

Goodbye, naughties.

my epiglottis needs to start working properly.

2009-12-06T19:41:00.000+08:00

In the absence of the matriarch, I made dinner.

Now I feel like a ~real woman. *succumbs to society*

it was acceptable at the time.

2009-12-05T23:56:00.002+08:00

Reading too much on l4d at night gives me the willies.

Not sure if can bring self to play MW2 (or any game involving human nemises). I mean, you kill people! and dogs (which is especially =(, since humans are bastards by defult)! I have been told I should try not to humanize my games, but I genuinely can't help it. This is why Prototype scares me so much. What if it happened in real life? What if massive wanton destruction could be possible on a scale even wider than it is possible now? (I hear you, people screaming IT IS JUST A GAME. Jeesh. Lemme retain my ~compassion).

Was also terrified by Catch-22, although it is commonly heralded as the inspiration for the term "black comedy". What is so funny about seeing the war effort trivialised by bureaucracy, I ask you. I was terrified for the chaplain when he was being interrogated re: Washington Irving/Irving Washington. I dunno why I always choose to concentrate on the gravity of the situation rather than the fluff. But come on. The sheer inability of the Group (and it's commanding subordinates) to make rational decisions about a war that is putting lives at risk is. Ugh. I can't even. War makes me queasy in the stomach and sad in the brain.

Chocolat was fine, if slightly heavy handed on the anti-religion stance. Well, anti-religious intermediataries rather than the actual religion. But +10 for the chocolate porn (not literally, although that would be... eh, interesting). Also now I want to name my next pet Pantoufle. Maybe one of the hammies? Hmm.

"You think too much" is a popular refrain re: my tendency to think to much. So what? Have to fill the hours somehow. Plus it stops me from... it stops me.

Y'know, I should start writing again.

~REAL LADIES DON'T GO FOR GIGOLOS~

2009-11-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

Oh I have terrible, terrible taste in music.

So I was just cleaning out my ipod (NO NO I HAVE TO DRAG MY PRESHIOUS SONGS OUT KICKING AND SCREAMING), and I found this lovely tune by a Eurovision winner (I think?) anyway she's Greek, and I suspect this was a line dancing song my mother guilted me into downloading, and I found myself inexplicably addicted to it.

Now with such scintillating lyrics as: "I'm not your average bimbo, lost in limbo". Indeed.

Anyway this lovely lady is like two artistes down from Grayceon

Schizo much.

Also, what the hell is Good Charlotte doing on my ipod?

History assignments. ugh. Yes I know they are good for me and I wouldn't study otherwise but still. Ugh.

Disaster.

2009-11-15T15:05:00.002+08:00

Aww, you think. Sho pwetty.

Well unfortunately they're all mushy and weird inside.

At least I made them look decent.

Oh and I forgot to use unsalted butter for the caramel, so it reeks of butter. Yech. And now I have a bowl of it in the fridge, because again I end up with less cupcakes than the recipe suggested. Hmph.

Gtfo cupcakes. I'll stick to muffins. They've never failed me yet.

Oh and I melted a spatula. This is fun.

ETA: my mum thinks they taste fine. And they are surprisingly delectable. No trace of coffee at all though. Damn you weak free trade coffee. Oh well.

THIS IS HOW A HEART BREAKS

2009-11-01T03:08:00.000+08:00

I know that song is old, but I still love it.

My dreams've been pretty epic lately. Note to self: don't run away from ZQ. It's not rape if I want it.

Oh, history was, umm. We'll see.

It is late (early) and I am hungry.

PS Am amazed at juvenility (juvenileness?) of people my age. Seriously, guys. Courting isn't that hard.

Utter disregard

2009-10-28T22:17:00.000+08:00

D=

ohnozohnoz.

This isn't good at all.

it's what you do, not say.

2009-10-17T01:43:00.000+08:00

so despite my love of being low key, I still would've liked to feel like a celebrant. Wouldn't you?

But oh, it was only a few days before a (major, future-determining) event.
bloody crap, di-anne, don't be selfish.
(inner child demanding attention)

sigh. Hello, adulthood.

but it would've been so nice if--

nevermind.

Occasionally, regardless of my abhorrence for tack, predictability, and the seeming childishness of certain rituals, ... well, let's just say I was wistful, and leave it at that.

PS Obvs I want attention because I would not be posting this publicly otherwise. But truthfully I know well enough to not be an idiot tyvm. Just complainin' to the world.

PPS At least I had you. Of course you were stymied by my reluctance to share (or, as most people would call it, selfishness), but then you just accepted it and moved on.

Note to self: That's what people do. They move on.

This post brought to you by the letter V for Vague, and W for Whiny.

abstract emotions are abstrackt.

2009-10-15T20:08:00.000+08:00

I was just wondering about the need to make love tangible.

ESO BESO

2009-10-08T22:37:00.000+08:00

damn Eso Beso (Helmut Lottie version) is stuck in my head because mother INISISTS ON PLAYING THE DAMN THING ON REPEAT OMG.

ESO BESO, OOOO THAT KISS. ESO BESO, OOOO YOUR KISS. IT'S GOT SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW WHAAAAAT. BUT WHATEVER IT'S GOT, IT'S GOT ALOT.

I don't even know if "eso beso" has a meaning.
yeah, okay.
So as a consequence of being a complete ass, prospects don't look bright. but if I haul ass (again with the gluteal analogy), things may happen.
I love being vague.
You know when people do something for you? Altruism my foot. That is also for their self-satisfaction. Y'see, when you give someone a present, for example, you're looking for that feel good factor of having them be impressed/euphoric with your gift (yes there is of course an element of wanting to give someone something, but that's not the point I'm talking about here (hah avoidance much)). So the receivee will feel obliged (in most cases; outliers excepted) to express joy at said gift, even if it is just a photoframe.
When you do something, you gotta get it back.

cynical dee is cynical.

By the way, tomorrow is the day my childhood dies. Well not really, but this is the year society decrees I grow up. Screw you, society. I'll find my own balance between play and work. Granted, right now the scale is sliding towards "Endless Fun and Consequently No Future", but I'm working on it. I am an adult (ho hum).

Would you have a crisis in an RX8?

2009-09-23T20:12:00.000+08:00

Because pikky and alanna did.

and evidently so did clarkson.

I am still going to be a shallow bitch and say it isn't pretty.

(brb getting crucified)

What would I know I barely drive.

TEENAGE DREAMS IN A TEENAGE CIRCUS

2009-09-13T13:49:00.000+08:00

Yay mika.

Yesterday we acted like a pair of seedy teenagers and drove around aimlessly until 3 am. It was fun. And when I got back my parents were asleep. Hmm. Nice to know you care.

The Ugly Truth! Yay Gerry Butler. Don't even bother going to the cinema tho, the good bits were all cut out again. Sigh. Also yes it was a typical romcom, but whatever. Me likey.

Halfway through Glee episode 2!

Trial news: Econs and lit (drama) to go, then I'm home free.

I'm not in love.

2009-09-10T01:15:00.000+08:00

Just tired and pissy.

(I love you, The Academy Is)

Dear cosmic being[s], can I has new stomach plz.

2009-09-05T18:42:00.000+08:00

Sometimes the universe likes to come along and fuck you up. I was victim #24369093834876 a few months ago, mainly because I wasn't sleeping properly, ergo not eating according to schedule as well.

So essentially, my stomach protested this lack of discipline and decided to punish me by throwing up a microcosm of gastrointestinal bacteria/virus/whatever it is that causes gastric.

So it's never subsided since those months ago.

So yeah. Now it hurts like a bitch and I won't stop belching.

This is completely fabulous.

hello, potential weeks of trials in stomach-clenching agony.

ONOZ

2009-08-25T21:25:00.000+08:00

HELLO MY LIT TRIAL IS NEXT FRIDAY I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M TAKING THE TIME TO TYPE THIS SHOULD REALLY BE STUDYING BYE!

PS "I HAVE ONLY JUST MET YOU AND I LOVE YOU!"

Sickly mickly

2009-08-07T18:23:00.001+08:00

Oh hello. It is day three of illness/feeling sorry for myself.

If I had a penny for every phlegmmy cough I'd be... well not really all that well off. Which is a good thing, really. No one likes to be a millionaire owner of hacking phlegmmy coughs.

This is lasting worryingly longer than I thought it would be, by the way.

mrr.

2009-08-05T09:16:00.000+08:00

I still feel woozy.
Yeah so I've been horrendously sick for two days now. Yesterday spent two hours at the doctor's just waiting. Umm. I have/had a temperature of 38.8 C, or 101 F, which isn't very fun at all. Woke up with a fever again today. Still feel like throwing up. Am forcing self to eat.
As a result, have not gotten anything (i.e. reading up, revising econs) done. Also, am attempting to sweat out the fever, and now I don't know if I should bathe because they say you shouldn't bathe if you've got a fever.

Ugh. Everyone's falling ill.

joyous occasion!

2009-07-31T16:45:00.000+08:00

Finally, an A for lit. ugh. But I am so not looking forward to getting my Twelfth Night papers back.

... okay who am I kidding, I need to know NOW. I have this thing about wanting to know my results immediately after I finish an exam/test. Like TELL ME WHERE I WENT WRONG.

Also, dinner tonight with old lit people! yay.

And Kaki Blue tomorrow! Double yay.

And holidays next week! Wh00t.

But much homeworks, so boo. Including 2 essays for lit. What is this la =(.

O wells. Must study. Study = good.

ELL FOR DEEE

2009-07-22T21:23:00.000+08:00

SO WE KINDA MAYBE SORTA GOT TRASHED TODAY. ROFFLE
(yes that is my new onomatopoeia for laughter. Roffle.)

But I'm pulling the sexist/stereotypical card to say THEY WERE ALL GUYS OKAY. UNFAIR TESTOSTERONAL ADVANTAGE.
Ya see I have this theory where boys' testosterone makes it easier for them to spot moving objects, i.e. threats. Aggression probably helps as well.

Presentation this morning went rather well. Mr Peter is so nice! hahaha.

You know what I absolutely cannot be arsed to transcribe my day, so yeah.

Bitchin'

2009-07-19T21:30:00.000+08:00

Not really.

Yesterday I ditched Kevin for Torchwood. Ehe. SORRY KEVIN. BUT I LOVE TORCHWOOD OKAY.

LR: Ianto Jones (RIP), Captain Jack Harkness, and Gwen "Mary Sue" Cooper.

Torchwood: Children of Earth was kind of brilliant. Some of the most gripping writing RTD has ever produced. But I miss the old campy B-grade Torchwood =(. It's all srs bsns now. admittedly the drama is fantastic and makes for great television, but I miss the sex aliens who ate orgasms.

So, CoE. To be honest it felt more like a political drama, or "A Day in the Life of a Govenrment Scapegoat", than Torchwood. Poor government scapegoat =(.

Jon Frobisher: Peter Capaldi deserves a BAFTA.

I like the way his end was handled though. Tragic, but realistic and sort of fitting, if that's possible.

*spoilery*
(IDEK why I need to warn anyone, s'not like people watch Torchwood anyway =( )
Fanwank: IANTO BB I'LL MISS YOU D=.

Ianto Jones, snarky coffeemaker extraordinaire.

Seriously, I'm still not convinced he (or Tosh, I am Owen ambivalent) had to die. Seriously. What are you trying to do to Jack? He's been fucked over by the universe so bad. Plus sacrificing his grandson and irreperably destroying his relationship with his daughter. IDK, I suspect RTD will have the Doctor make Jack feel all better in Tennant's final episodes. Or not.

Can't wait for new Doctor!

And today dodgeball happened. Kdu went against kdu, and the a-level guys lost. D'aww. Then after that we sat at Coffee Bean for over an hour ruminating on the secrets of the universe. Then Fish & Co for food.

Ya I should prolly embellish this with moar details but I am like tired and should have slept half and hour ago. Like bai.

THIS IS VITRIOL.

2009-07-16T22:03:00.000+08:00

First, I would like you to watch this

My first reaction to this was OHMYWHATTHEFUCK?

Seriously. Seriously. Wat. This is exactly why I am an agnostic-atheist/secular humanist. I absolutely hate when people use religion as an excuse to discriminate.
What exactly is so wrong with muslims that you are so afraid to have them "take over the world", as it were? For the last fucking time, america (which I am assuming to be the country of origin based on the terrible, nasally, unnecessarily ominous narration), muslim =/= terrorist. Please. Also, not every muslim is an extremist. Ugh. And frankly, if we did end up having a "muslim-dominated world", if it were peaceful and less fucked up, I wouldn't mind. At all.

I just... ugh. I am so angry my thoughts are completely jumbled up about now.

And, by the way, I would think (although I have no concrete evidence to back this up), that the world is veering more towards secularism as time goes by. Again, how sure are you that all those millions of muslims born would be devout? In these modern times (oh how this reminds me of writing karangans in high school), people are more willing to question everything, religion included. And when answers can't be found, they go looking for them somewhere else.

I would also like to add that this seems like a slightly white (or at least western) supremecy thing. Because there was the giant harping on about how europe would disappear, and Asia would take over (I would paraphrase but I absolutely cannot bring myself to watch the fucking thing again). So? Excuse me, Asia is emerging as an economic powerhouse right about now. No stopping us, baby. Besides, if China hadn't burned it's ships and closed in on itself after Zheng He's time, I'm pretty darn sure they would have been the world's biggest colonisers. the Portugese, Dutch and English just got lucky.

Again, I would like to reiiterate how narrow minded some people can be. I wonder if the world's Christian population was burgeoning, would the same video have been made? Gah.

Geek love.

2009-07-09T20:01:00.000+08:00

Quoth Sue Vern during maths today: "My love for you is like a binomial theorem when n is not a positive integer; neverending."

Which led to me going, "my love for you is like Graham's number" (which if you can't be arsed to read the wiki page is basically an incomprehensibly huge ass number). This was objected to by pikky cause it wasn't neverending. Hmph. Which somehow led to "bottomless pit of love", which sent us all (well, me and pikky anyway) into hysterics simply because it sounded so menacing. and then pikky went, "my love for you increases like the Ackermann function" (which is a function that increses rapidly when the parameters are increased by 1. For example:

A(0,0) = 1
A(1,0) = 2
A(2,0) = 3
A(3,0) = 5
A(4,0) = 13
A(5,0) = 65536)

And then I remembered this irregular webcomic disguised as an xkcd comic.

click on the link above to view larger

So I've come to the conclusion that the best way to declare your love to a mathematician is "My love for you is like calling the Ackermann function with Graham's number as the parameters."

Hee. I love geek jokes.

(Btw if you don't get it read the annotation under the irregular webcomic above)

Okay I'll try to summarize. Since the Ackermann function already increases so much when the parameters are small numbers under five, for example

A(4,0) = 13
and if Y is increased to one,
A(4,1) = 65536

by using Graham's number as the parameters, A(g₆₄, g₆₄), you're gonna get a fantastically LARGE number, so large your puny human brain can't even comprehend, much like how we can't imagine the vastness of the universe.

Don't believe me?

A(4,2) = 2 003 529 930 406 846 464 979 072 351 560 255 750 447 825 475 569 751 419 265 016 973 710 894 059 556 311 453 089 506 130 880 933 348 101 038 234 342 907 263 181 822 949 382 118 812 668 869 506 364 761 547 029 165 041 871 916 351 587 966 347 219 442 930 927 982 084 309 104 855 990 570 159 318 959 639 524 863 372 367 203 002 916 969 592 156 108 764 948 889 254 090 805 911 457 037 675 208 500 206 671 563 702 366 126 359 747 144 807 111 774 815 880 914 135 742 720 967 190 151 836 282 560 618 091 458 852 699 826 141 425 030 123 391 108 273 603 843 767 876 449 043 205 960 379 124 490 905 707 560 314 035 076 162 562 476 031 863 793 126 484 703 743 782 954 975 613 770 981 604 614 413 308 692 118 102 485 959 152 380 195 331 030 292 162 800 160 568 670 105 651 646 750 568 038 741 529 463 842 244 845 292 537 361 442 533 614 373 729 088 303 794 601 274 724 958 414 864 915 930 647 252 015 155 693 922 628 180 691 650 796 381 064 132 275 307 267 143 998 158 508 811 292 628 901 134 237 782 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131 610 537 834 980 740 739 158 633 817 967 658 425 258 036 737 206 469 351 248 652 238 481 341 663 808 061 505 704 829 059 890 696 451 936 440 018 597 120 425 723 007 316 410 009 916 987 524 260 377 362 177 763 430 621 616 744 884 930 810 929 901 009 517 974 541 564 251 204 822 086 714 586 849 255 132 444 266 777 127 863 728 211 331 536 224 301 091 824 391 243 380 214 046 242 223 349 153 559 516 890 816 288 487 989 988 273 630 445 372 432 174 280 215 755 777 967 021 666 317 047 969 728 172 483 392 841 015 642 274 507 271 779 269 399 929 740 308 072 770 395 013 581 545 142 494 049 026 536 105 825 409 373 114 653 104 943 382 484 379 718 606 937 214 444 600 826 798 002 471 229 489 405 761 853 892 203 425 608 302 697 052 876 621 377 373 594 394 224 114 707 074 072 902 725 461 307 358 541 745 691 419 446 487 624 357 682 397 065 703 184 168 467 540 733 466 346 293 673 983 620 004 041 400 714 054 277 632 480 132 742 202 685 393 698 869 787 607 009 590 048 684 650 626 771 363 070 979 821 006 557 285 101 306 601 010 780 633 743 344 773 073 478 653 881 742 681 230 743 766 066 643 312 775 356 466 578 603 715 192 922 768 440 458 273 283 243 808 212 841 218 776 132 042 460 464 900 801 054 731 426 749 260 826 922 155 637 405 486 241 717 031 027 919 996 942 645 620 955 619 816 454 547 662 045 022 411 449 404 749 349 832 206 807 191 352 767 986 747 813 458 203 859 570 413 466 177 937 228 534 940 031 631 599 544 093 684 089 572 533 438 702 986 717 829 770 373 332 806 801 764 639 502 090 023 941 931 499 115 009 105 276 821 119 510 999 063 166 150 311 585 582 835 582 607 179 410 052 528 583 611 369 961 303 442 790 173 811 787 412 061 288 182 062 023 263 849 861 515 656 451 230 047 792 967 563 618 345 768 105 043 341 769 543 067 538 041 113 928 553 792 529 241 347 339 481 050 532 025 708 728 186 307 291 158 911 335 942 014 761 872 664 291 564 036 371 927 602 306 283 840 650 425 441 742 335 464 549 987 055 318 726 887 926 424 102 147 363 698 625 463 747 159 744 354 943 443 899 730 051 742 525 110 877 357 886 390 946 812 096 673 428 152 585 919 924 857 640 488 055 071 329 814 299 359 911 463 239 919 113 959 926 752 576 359 007 446 572 810 191 805 841 807 342 227 734 721 397 723 218 231 771 716 916 400 108 826 112 549 093 361 186 780 575 722 391 018 186 168 549 108 500 885 272 274 374 212 086 524 852 372 456 248 697 662 245 384 819 298 671 129 452 945 515 497 030 585 919 307 198 497 105 414 181 636 968 976 131 126 744 027 009 648 667 545 934 567 059 936 995 464 500 558 921 628 047 976 365 686 133 316 563 907 395 703 272 034 389 175 415 267 500 915 011 198 856 872 708 848 195 531 676 931 681 272 892 143 031 376 818 016 445 477 367 518 353 497 857 924 276 463 354 162 433 601 125 960 252 109 501 612 264 110 346 083 465 648 235 597 934 274 056 868 849 224 458 745 493 776 752 120 324 703 803 035 491 157 544 831 295 275 891 939 893 680 876 327 685 438 769 557 694 881 422 844 311 998 595 700 727 521 393 176 837 831 770 339 130 423 060 958 999 137 314 684 569 010 422 095 161 967 070 506 420 256 733 873 446 115 655 276 175 992 727 151 877 660 010 238 944 760 539 789 516 945 708 802 728 736 225 121 076 224 091 810 066 700 883 474 737 605 156 285 533 943 565 843 756 271 241 244 457 651 663 064 085 939 507 947 550 920 463 932 245 202 535 463 634 444 791 755 661 725 962 187 199 279 186 575 490 857 852 950 012 840 229 035 061 514 937 310 107 009 446 151 011 613 712 423 761 426 722 541 732 055 959 202 782 129 325 725 947 146 417 224 977 321 316 381 845 326 555 279 604 270 541 871 496 236 585 252 458 648 933 254 145 062 642 337 885 651 464 670 604 298 564 781 968 461 593 663 288 954 299 780 722 542 264 790 400 616 019 751 975 007 460 545 150 060 291 806 638 271 497 016 110 987 951 336 633 771 378 434 416 194 053 121 445 291 855 180 136 575 558 667 615 019 373 029 691 932 076 120 009 255 065 081 583 275 508 499 340 768 797 252 369 987 023 567 931 026 804 136 745 718 956 641 431 852 679 054 717 169 962 990 363 015 545 645 090 044 802 789 055 701 968 328 313 630 718 997 699 153 166 679 208 958 768 572 290 600 915 472 919 636 381 673 596 673 959 975 710 326 015 571 920 237 348 580 521 128 117 458 610 065 152 598 883 843 114 511 894 880 552 129 145 775 699 146 577 530 041 384 717 124 577 965 048 175 856 395 072 895 337 539 755 822 087 777 506 072 339 445 587 895 905 719 156 733

That's 19729 digits.

Has your brain melted out of your ears yet? Well get a tupperware or something to catch the remnants, because Graham's number is so large that even the number of numbers is too large to type out.

MATHEMATICS FTMFW.

Bonus addon:

DID YOU KNOW?
"Geek" used to mean "carnival performer"!

Which is the meaning implied in Katherine Dunn's Geek Love, which I'm looking for.

Productivity = good

2009-07-04T21:56:00.000+08:00

On saturday cuppycakes were made with the help of other made people, to whit, Suevern Tan, Pikkuan Yap, Naomi Kasimir, Lynette Lee, Zewen Chuan and Kevin Lim. The last two didn't really help so much as lamppost, but that's okay.

So Naomi showed up the earliest and we killed time admiring my lazy ass hamsters and browsing recipes online. Found some hilariously terrible cuppycake decorations.

Then the barrage of people (Tan, Yap, Lee, Chuan) appeared! Courtesy of Yap's car. Umm. Recipes were decided upon. Then the madness began!

So I think we made like 36 cupcakes (plus pretty icing) which is fantabulous! And everyone went home with several.

Then on the sunday on which I couldn't gather enough willpower to wake up dinner with ms hannah happened! Her mum makes a mean fish and fried chicken. Post dinner walk was at desa park city, where apparently cupid hangs out as well. Bleh couple hangouts.

So yeah.

Shut up, Kevin.

2009-07-02T20:39:00.000+08:00

Ya. Quattro phail. Epic-ly.
Okay, chronological sequence of events.

So Neal msn-ed me at seven last night.

"DI ANNE"
"do you have class tomorrow."
"or the more appropriate question is. do you wanna get a little alcohol in your system tonight?"

Yeah. So apparently Quattro was having an opening of the winter bar/monte carlo nonsense, with, the most important part, free flow of alcohol from 8.30 to 10.30. Me being the cheap (chinese) boozer I am no doubt turning into, wanted to go insanely badly, but wasn't sure what the mother would say. So my conversation with her went something like

"Mum, can I go yumcha? With neal. *insert lousy excuse about seeing Neal off because he's leaving next month*"
"Who's driving? That boy [i.e. Jun Yit, who I used to carpool with to lit tuition]?"
"Err, Rabin. Literature classmate/ also going off next month."
"Okay. Don't come back so late and don't drink so much and... *various advice about not leaving your drink because someone might slip something in it etc etc*"

OMG MY MUM IS SO COOL HAHA.
Keep in mind this was a weeknight and I was going to KL. On a weeknight. To booze. Admittedly I didn't tell her about free boozing, but the fact I wasn't interrogated is fantastic.
(If you're wondering where my dad was he was overnighting in KL for a seminar. That was lucky. Heh.)

So to cut a ramble short, we went downtown, parked in Avenue K (topics of discussion enroute include Neal's metro-ness + Rabin's... something about Rabin anyway), walked up, and discovered that it's 21 above.

Oh what fun.
...

What I'm trying to say is, we chickened out, essentially. We hightailed it out of there pronto (And had to pay the 3.00 parking fee although we were there like five minutes wtf). Then on the way out of KL we realised we should've at least done something to justify to trip into town. Bleh. So I threw a fit and demanded the alkie I'd been promised, and we decided to get to Laundry. I think the initial plan was ice bar, but we were kinda broke.

Oh pre-boozing dinner was quite good: hokkien mee + cantonese fry + ikan bakar.

I had 1 1/4 drinks. More or less. Oh but that one drink was a double. (vodka red bull FTW although I would get sick of it. Also, laundry does a fantastic long island) I'm actually building up a tolerance towards alcohol. I got less high than I was when I first started. Yay. Neal was quite tipsy, I think we missed an opportunity to get him drunk (btw I am still pissed the guys never called me out to see him get wasted). Rabin the D(esignated) D(river) sipped demurely on his chivas. Or as demurely as a tall indian dude can get anyway.

O yeah and yesterday afternoon was also good.

And today there was a talk involving the words "critical", and "thinking", combined into a dastardly phrase. I'm sure the lady means well, but come on. Why has nobody caught on to the fact that what students don't volunteer for they won't be interested in? Ugh.

PS Left my Pride and Prejudice and Zombies in LTB! But Lynette rescued it. Go Lynette! I luv joo!

oh hai

2009-06-26T21:27:00.000+08:00

I'm feckin busy with debateness. No time to do homework as well. No time to see anyone. umm yeah. bye!

Because I'm morbid like that.

2009-06-20T14:16:00.000+08:00

Unfortunate Coincidence

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying

Dorothy Parker

Also, R & G are dead was fantastic.

just so you know. (me + pikky fangirling)

2009-06-16T23:10:00.000+08:00

muffins says:
OMAIGAWD ANTON YELCHIN I WANT TO HAVE HIS BABIES I WANT I WANTTT

deedeedeeanne. OH HAI BABY CAT ILU. says:
lol GO AND GET HIM

muffins says:
WHOO how ah haha

deedeedeeanne. OH HAI BABY CAT ILU. says:
STALKY TIME

muffins says:
AHHAHA FLY TO HOLLYWOOD YOU WILL BE MY INTELLIGENCE GET ME HIS ADDRESS

deedeedeeanne. OH HAI BABY CAT ILU. says:
YOU DO THE WORK I AM GOING TO LA TO STALK ZQ AND HIS DOG AND CAPTAIN FINE YOU CAN COME WITH ME THEY MIGHT BE ALL HANGING OUT TOGETHER PLUS JOHN CHO HAHAHA

muffins says:
JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO JOHN CHO ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN ANTON YELCHIN GIVE HIM TO MEEEEE

Yeah. So we're flying off on the weekend wh00t. Don't expect us back.
Also, it shows how much pikky wants yelchin that she's willing to have kids (she hates kids).

Also,

ETA: This is still happening as I type. just so you know.

I want my own GQ motherfucker.

2009-06-16T22:31:00.000+08:00

self explanatory. I miss my baby cat though.

Also, people around me are being (understandably) quite anti-man =O. I feel your pain =/.

ooh can't wait for friday too. Klpac yay.

dammit, literature. read read read read. Lucky wilde is fun.

Please let there be no history writing on thursday.

Tomorrow I will be going out after college whee.

This pushes all my adorable buttons:

moo.

2009-06-15T18:52:00.001+08:00

ICRC was not good for me D=.

On the other hand, drinking yay!

Ugh I dunno I am so unmotivated to blog.

I mean, what the hell, if I really wanted to keep a record of my thoughts I would get an actual physical diary. Blogs are for exhibitionists, one of which I am not.

College is not bitchin'. Stupid long ass double-period-history-starting mondays.

ooh we're doing Wilde in lit! Hooray. Earnest is so funnay.

So yeah.

Quick post, then bed

2009-06-08T22:44:00.000+08:00

So last night I didn't sleep at all wh00t.
This was because I'd napped from 6 to 8. PM. Bah screwed sleepy schedule.

Most of the night was whiled away henna-ing.

Dry dammit

I'd love to be creative enough to think something like this up on my own, but this is actually a variation on Grace Lee's design.

Y'see, pre-SPM last year when people were asked to come to school for no apparent reason, the classes were all combined. And most of the girls, out of sheer boredom, starting graffiting on each other's arms. Grace is a real artist, so her doodles are brilliant.

I'm watching your sterosystem and pet stingray.

And we made a pact that if I ever decided to get an actual tattoo she'd be the one to design it =D.

Also, I have a new watch!

water resistant for up to 50 metres baby

It's going to be my swimming watch. I hate not being able to tell the time when I swim, since blind me can't see the damn teeny tiny wall clock on the dressing rooms. I used to have a black 100-metres-waterproof one, but, erm, it ran away.

ah crap it's 11 history first thing tomorrow again =O.

oh quick summary of marks:
maths: fine.
history: dayum fine.
econs: shit.
lit: cambridge are holding my paper hostage.

Sam Isaac is rather comforting

2009-06-07T21:18:00.001+08:00

This.

Also, Glee!

It is like fantabulous! A musical series? Yay! It's like christmas came early! When I don't even celebrate christmas!
So yeah, Glee is basically a story about a high school Glee club (like choir, but more showbiz. Think Broadway) that's trying to return to it's nineties prime. I do love musicales.

I went to Khairin's haus! It's fecking huge. But OMG his dogssss. SO adorable. Bloody ginormous husky tried to knock me over couple times but I stood my ground. Just barely.

What else what else umm.

Driving instructor canceled again bah.

Double bah college tomorrow. Wai give us holidays if you're just gonna drag us back into the pit of despair D=.

HELLO MR SPLINTER

2009-06-05T22:15:00.000+08:00

So I was walking along minding my own business when THE PARQUET FLOOR DECIDED TO LAUNCH A SURPRISE ATTACK.

revel in my eczema toe

So then I get an inch long splinter embedded in my foot. Bugger.
I considered cutting the damn thing open with the scissors, but then pain + unhygienic. So I just poked around to get a better grip and pulled it out.

whee!
Yes I do have quite a high pain threshold thank you.

Now the damn thing's leaking interstitial fluid or whatever.
Pfft eczema related injuries.

Sweet tooth.

2009-06-03T20:25:00.000+08:00

I hope, to the supreme eternal being/s who may or may not be a collective figment of humankind's imagination, that I will never, ever lose my sweet tooth. I just continually have a craving for something sweet. This is probably habit, but after every meal I have to have dessert. Even an apple would do. I have a friend who cannot take any sweets at all, and I wonder how she lives. Seriously!

There's something inherently childish about craving a sweet. I hope this isn't a manifestation of my peter pan syndrome. But I dowanna grow upp. Urgh, the responsibility! I can barely handle myself as it is.

What was I talking about? Sweets. Yes. So. D'you know when you have chocolate, or cake, (or Daim cake), how that utterly delicious saccharine taste sweeps over your mouth and consumes your tasebuds like a tidal wave? Yeah that's what it's like to me. I mean I know it's bad for me excessively (but it's not like I have sweets everyday, hello, I am at least that aware), but they're sweets, dammit. They're not supposed to be healthy!

Also it's lucky I don't get sugar highs, unlike some people I know.

So for all I complain about how kids cartoons and the new musics are going down the drain, and for all I'm slowly becoming jaded and cynical and a skeptic, I hope I never ever get sick of sweets. Yum sugar.

sugar is glucose, which is processed into carbohydrates into your body, which is one of the building blocks of life! (i.e. energy). Sugar FTW!

Drinking again

2009-06-02T10:37:00.000+08:00

Yesh. I am never gonna be able to hold more than one drink, I swear. When I reached home I was insanely dizzy. But still sober enough to make a phone call c:

Also, the quest for a new phone is on. I want one, but am so incredibly lazy to go and actually find out about them. Bleh. I need a phone person. Which I think I do not have, as of yet.

Umm. I'm having chocolate bears for breakfast.

I think I'm supposed to help Pikky out at tesco right now, but she hasn't said anything, so meh. Oh yeah sue's (third) party/celebration tonight. I want threesies toooo. Will be sleeping over. Crazy may happen =D.

<3.

HOME

2009-05-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

am quite tired. Bus ride fine. Back hurts from sleeping sitting up. am prolly gonna sleep now. kthxbai.

Arauness

2009-05-25T12:56:00.000+08:00

Yeah am in perlis now (whoo agriculture). Very eventful train ride, quite comfy bunks, took forever to get to sleep properly, cause it was really bright. Umm. Were told to "keep silence" by a policeman (or some form of authority anyway), which was fair enough, other people may have been trying to sleep. Oh and certain people had to jump off the train while it was moving. Brilliant.

UITM campus v. big.

Yeah that is all.

THIS IS THE MOST OBSESSED I'VE EVER BEEN BB

2009-05-22T22:54:00.000+08:00

Am resisting temptation to picspam ZQ/Pinto. You can have this link, tho. Knock yourselves out. I know I just did (am).

What I found out: ZQ was in friggin lizzie mcguire and charmed. MAJOR WTFRY.

Also, Pine is an English major.
Also, disturbing photoshops of Pinto have appeared. Click if you dare. IDK, most people on that post seem to find it hot. Me? DO NOT WANT.

Now, onto my real life. So I'm kinda mediocre as an adjud, cause my bad grasp of debate technicalities mean I can't really identify anything, so I just go by points, which is...inadequate? Ooh, inadequate, that's the word I was looking for. Inadequate = Moi.
NTS: Ask surfy tomorrow about inadequate adjuding.

Also, EXAMS ARE OVER BAYBEH. W00T.

oh Zachary your unfortunate fashion sense.

WELL I'M SORRY. I'M ONLY HUMAN.
(oh no won't be able to see it in cinemas again. Bah.)

I've never felt so unafraid.

2009-05-21T17:31:00.001+08:00

Yeah, right. Great song, though.

So instead of studying, I was amusing myself with the Star Trek picspam post of ONTD. (scroll down to the comments, that's where the action is. Orr you might not want to)

OMG I JUST ONE UPPED ONTD HAHA

Found out about this waay before you, ONTD.

LOL. MTE.

Oh and I'm about half an hour into that? I have completely no time =(. Speaking of which, My eepod has completely run out of space. I think at this point I have slightly over a gig left. Sigh. I knew I should've gotten the 80 gig one. Now I'll prolly have to lug around two eepods, or start deleting songs =(. Oh well. Videos will go first I guess. The the mass culling =(.

OH AND TODAY WAS LIKE TOTALLY INSANE

(Aside: I seem to be turning american. Shit. THIS IS NOT GOOD *runs off to watch HIGNFY and Doctor Who and ooh! New Torchwood soooooooooooooon*)

Yay!

Yeah, so TODAY WAS TOTALLY INSANE BECAUSE I TOOK THREE EXAMS IN ONE DAY BB. Stats, history, econs, in that order. Today was a directly proportional curve because as the exams went on I did worse and worse. Stats was surprisingly okay, I expected some hard-ass nonsense from Ms. my-questions-are-from-cambridge-they-are-really-tough-and-will-scare-you Tee (btw I mean that in the nicest way possible). History, just puked up everything I've ever written in previous writing assignments. Econs, complete, utter, total fuckup. We know what we'll be getting then =(. My only hope for salvation is MCQ, which is first thing tomorrow, so I need to get my ass away from the computer and onto some nerding.

I am very amused. (scroll down to the comments)

So what else has happened? Had very strange one-sided msn conversation with kevin. He spoke, I typed (because I don't have a friggin mic). yeah I felt like a stalker and was constantly 5 seconds behind the conversation, but it was fun. Also found out khairin has 5 dogs and 3 cats O.o. (or a similarly big number). I want my very own pack of animals =(

This post brought to you by the letters ST.

Should really be studying. Operative word: Should.

2009-05-20T17:59:00.001+08:00

Bloody hell I have been regressing. D'you know I haven't read a real book (i.e. not a textbook or related to lit work) in months? OMGWTFBBQ BLASPHEMY! Srsly. The last book I (really) read was, umm, the Graveyard Book. Yes I know it's still Gaiman, but please (sorry kids).

I think the happening-ness of my social life is inversely proportional to my reading habits.

I guess being the fat unpopular one had something going for it after all.

But oh well, wtv. Wouldn't trade my nutty college folks for the world.
I love you so much I would turn bimbo for you! *cries*

This post was brought to you by the amazing ZQ. Obsession ongoing.

Promise to self: I WILL read. And NOT sappy romance nonsense again. Bah.

OMG UPDATES!

2009-05-18T21:11:00.000+08:00

Yeah. So a few things have happened since freaking march the 26th.

1. I AM NOW COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH ZACHARY QUINTO.

See them arms? He is secretly a werewolf xD

DOG LOVER!

2. I AM ALSO MILDLY OBSESSED WITH PINTO (ZQ/Chris Pine shipping)

Thanks, Star Trek.

Lyk omg srsly. my new OTP.

...yes farfetched I know, but why the hell not.

2. (a) Also, Chris Fine's eyes.

3. I am in the midst of driving lessons, which have been postponed due to exams/ heading off to arau next week.

4. Oh yeah and I am a bona fide debater whoo! Suck on that, marc jitab.

5. As above, will be going to arau (i.e. perlis; smack in the middle of wildlands), but as adjudicator. Not enough people to be in teams. Also, see confidence issues.

6. AHH FUCK EXAMS SHIT SHIT.
Am most worried about econs, surprisingly. Am pretty well prepped for history (thanks, begrudgingly, to mr. thiru's batshit insane "you-will-write-two-essays-a-week" schtick). And lit? I can prolly pull rabbits out of hats, thanks to Bahiyah. Which reminds me, I should call her or something. I still miss Bahiyah =(. Maths, umm, am winging it.

7. Am spending too much time at Pikky's + visiting random people. Yesterday, visited with Gabe's cats + trashed Kevin's place whoo.

8. Yeah okay imma go now and try to do something productive.

PS OH ALSO I am being read to sleep at night by ZQ *swoons*. His voice is like chocolate coated chocolate. Star trek audiobook, baby.

Ominous crashing music

2009-03-26T20:53:00.001+08:00

So I may or may not have ickle wee heliobacter pylori living in my stomach. Am going for blow test on...whenever.

Also, an uncle has passed away. Sorry, mum.

There is a conspiracy to stop me from attaining medical aid.

2009-03-25T19:32:00.000+08:00

It is self explanatory. I will probably asplode soon.

You decline the verb "to hang-glide" then.

2009-02-25T19:28:00.000+08:00

I hang-glide, you hang-glide, he/she hang-glides, we hang-glid, they hang-glidededed.

(Yeah, I'm watching Definite Article)

Doo doo doo doo. I'm only updating this cos of... *incoherent mumbling*

Monday, decided to make myself take undang by this week (i.e. sunday, since I've just realised debate is on saturday, and it's a whole day thing), Tuesday, went to Sue's place, then Swensen's (Tuesday is half price Earthquake day!) with S, Pikky and Lynette. Wednesday, got completely fucked over by Ms. K because some bastards decided to be brutally honest. This is why I keep my mouth shut. So now for Econs we have to do a presentation/research. Which is due next week.

Also, tomorrow there will be a Stats test. Double also, I'm only up to about question 325/500 in the undang book. Triple also, I will be starting/finishing aforementioned Econs thing on Friday when Amalia and Naomi come over. Qintup. ...No, Quadruple also, I must not eat pears. Quintuple also, the ISA thing for M'sian Studies is due on the seventh, Sextuple also also, SPM results out... sometime next month. Mid-March, anyway.

Is that all? Yeah.

Ooh, nooo. Saturday. Saturdaaay. Please let 'em be there. Although I'm projecting again, probably.

Luck this for a Fark

2009-02-12T22:11:00.000+08:00

Malaysian Studies, I'm looking at you.

Almost completed the Singapore part of assignment. Going to school to finish the rest tomorrow (I hope).

I cannot believe how much I had to write about S'pore v M'sia (not in that way). Bloody over 1300 words long (admittedly, some filched from wiki...but hey! my ideas. Umkay? Umkay).

So...tomorrow: tackle Brunei & Sabah.

And next week, we'll be doing something on Politics and the Constitution! Yay!

Ugh.

Sticky

2009-02-07T22:32:00.000+08:00

I wonder what those "Sticky" things on forums are.

Played rock band. Whee! Lucky jeek doesn't have it in the house, or I'd be playing all day, instead of doing maths or m'sian studies assignment. In all honesty, I could prolly whip something up in an hour of last minute panic, but that wouldn't be... fun? authentic? Honest. Besides, the question is pretty interesting.

After a day on tv tropes, I promise to have a day of work tomorrow.

(yeah, right)

Yeah, okay, right, uhuh.

2009-02-06T19:12:00.000+08:00

This is overspill from a comment on Lin's blog.

(Firstly, I must say, I'm not entirely sure I have something against all organized religion. It's prolly just Jack-fucking-Chick)

So, right, Jack Chick is this christian fellow who is really, really devout and passionate about his religion. All good so far. He publishes tracts, little booklets that (attempt to) introduce you to god/jesus and all his disciples. Okay, a little pushy, but still perfectly socially acceptable. And then, you read this nonsense.

Um. Right. First of all, Darwin's theory of evolution does not say we "changed from apes to humans". Man did not descend from chimpanzees or gorillas. We share an ancestor with them. Looking at chimps or gorillas or bonobos or orang utans today, we are not looking at our primitive past, but our modern cousins. Honestly, I'm quite fuzzy as to the actual details of human evolution, but I'm pretty damn sure we didn't "change from apes to humans" magically.

Secondly, no teacher is like that, especially not science teachers. Science is about learning, and the further techonology advances, the more we learn, and new knowledge is successfully mined from the glorious seething mass of life and the universe. As new knowledge is gained, old theories become obsolete, or are found to be incorrect, or are added upon, and papers are published, and articles are written in magazines, and so we learn and understand. I think one of the characteristics of science is that it is always changing. There is always something more to discover, something new to understand. Scientists have to constantly keep their minds open to be able to discover something new, and evaluate the evidence, and, if all is inorder, support their theories wholeheartedly. If anything, creationism is the old stick-in-the-mud. It has not changed since the time of the Bible, and people are still championing it today.

I was gonna go on, but I give up. There's too much bile that'll be wasted here. I'm going to curl up with a nice Stephen Fry and concentrate on the real world. You're welcome to go ahead and read these, though. Warning: You will feel immense frustration at the sheer ignorance of these nonsenses. Better still, go to the index page and note the "Adapted for black audiences". That's right, because black people won't empathise if the character isn't black, right? They're different from white people, right?

Fuck off.

Hibernating. Again.

2009-01-31T18:43:00.000+08:00

I seem to have this unhumanlike ability to sleep for long periods of time. I just woke up (5 pm-ish), and this means I've been sleeping for... ehh, 12 hours? Brilliant.

I think I'm partly descended from koalas.

Aww...
They sleep up to 20 hours a day, you know. And cats, I believe, sleep 18 hours? Something like that. So I'm a cat/koala. Koat. Cala. Hmm.
They're not bears, koalas. They marsupials. Like kangaroos.

Yay for trivial QI knowledge!

On a different note, its very fiddly to type with long fingernails.

On an even more differing note, am currently working through episodes of Jeeves and Wooster.

(Oh crap! Econs work. Buggery and arsefuck, better get round to it.)

A Snappy Title

2009-01-21T19:09:00.000+08:00

...because I can't think of one.

I took the bus today! Yay! I am so proud *sniff*.

So the bus was surprisingly on time (or on the hour, anyway). Started from the house at 10.30-ish, by the time we (daddy insisted on accompanying; doesn't trust clueless daughter) got to Bahagia, it was close to 11, so we only waited 5 minutes for the bus to start up (it was lurking in the corner; waiting for time or summing).

I don't like freaking RapidKL's policy of: "Pay once and you can ride the bus the whole day! Whee!"
because it's 1 (one) bloody Ringgit Malaysia for one ride (I don't take the bus back; mum gets home at one) . Honestly. Do they not think before making these things?

"Okay, so how're we gonna revamp the bus system to appeal to Joe Public?"
"Um. Fluffy seats!"
"TV!" [of which there are two, which are those kind of screens you can only see if you're sitting directly in front of it, and not at an angle]
"Disabled-friendly ramps!" [if only]
"Seats at different heights!" [of which there are many, no doubt to create aesthetic appeal]
"No, no no no no. Too quaint. Too cost consuming. Too... user friendly. Remember now, we're a business. We need to make money. Ooh, I know! Lets make all ticket fares a standard price and tell people they'll be able to buy one ticket, and get on the bus the whole day for a low, low price! You see, this way we can make a killing off people who only go one way to cover for those idiots who actually do live on buses! And since most people only force themselves on malaysian public transport to get to school or work, we'll be rolling in the dosh!"
"Hurray!"

Brilliant Executive is carried away on colleagues's shoulders to a celebratory early lunch.

(Feel free to insert malaysian colloquialisms, mispronunciations and general rubbish grammar as you see fit)

Oh, and I'm going to audition for the debate team. I know, how unexpected is that? After my trauma with marc-fucking-jitab, I have decided to rise above! Double hurray!

Also, I really should learn to speak in public. I think it's a necessary skill. Truthfully, the only time I don't like standing up in front of hundreds (well, tens, more like) is when I'm given a topic I'm not familiar with, or don't like (say, "Twilight is a shining example to today's tweens. Discuss", things of that sort). I do like to show off my knowledge (however little I've got) at any given opportunity.

Anyway, wish me luck for tomorrow's personal impromptu speech.

Note to self: Remember to borrow Sloman's Economics from the library for holiday reading. Must master price mechanisms.

Hooray new series of QI

2009-01-12T22:58:00.000+08:00

I do adore Stephen. I have decided to grow up to be Stephen Fry.

I'm gonna have to walk home tomorrow. In the hot hot blazing wok of superheated oil that is Malaysian weather. Hmph. Oh well. I have my trusty blue umbrella. And shades. I am wearing shades. I don't care if I'm half blind in shades, my eyes will melt out of my orbits like so much vanilla, raspberry and chocolate icecream if I don't.

(On a positive note, my similes seem to be coming along :)

Oh yeah, I should go to the TLC to ask about the book review competition. Mmm. Shy laa. I am really ludicrously shy. Not even with good reason. I mean, surely they expect to be asked, if they hold the darn competition? Ugh.

What I really don't like about talking to strangers is the way people size you up immediately after meeting you. 'Specially on a bad hair/mood/face/sartorial day. You want to scream:"I'm not usually like this! I'm very collected! Seriously. Take my word for it. (I'm pretty trustworthy as well)."

I guess it's what everyone does, after all. And it's also why we spend gajillions each year on hair/face/body/other areas of flesh that no one but you sees anyway but you feel the need to be squeaky clean product.

(I have decided I like forward slashes. Forward slashes are good. And so is the other kind)

And I have tons of maths homework. TONS. And this is just the second week. And thank goodness my add maths was pretty decent, or I'd be struggling. I miss pn. Lam now :(. I know, I know. I love you, pn Lam (yeah, okay, maybe it's just nostalgia. But I do owe about 70% of my brilliance (hah!) in add maths to her lectures and scoldings. Motivation, you see).

Gonna go and sleep now. Or chat with some people.

aagh.

2009-01-11T00:40:00.000+08:00

College is okay but quiet. Not much people in arts/ alevels anyway. Am praying for enough people to take lit and history in march. Have met 5 people to run around with. Um. Yeah.

I think I will take econs after all. So eng lit, history, maths, econs. Hooray. I am gonna die this year-and-a-half.

Went to Star Ed Fair today. The most viable option for me I think is Monash. Unless I can get into That University with a Scholarship, at which point I will abandon Malaysia immediately :). I think I'll opt for That University for postgrad though. I kinda like monash's B.A course better. I know, I know. But I don't really wanna go full on english, you know. Not yet, anyway. I was thinking film and theater studies. Fun!

Also, 11 IS A CHILD.
Granted, a quite hot child, but a child nontheless.

I know it's bad of me to judge beforehand, but I DON'T CARE. Hmph.

(...I'm obviously going to love the series with Matt in it (written by Moffat, after all, who will prolly give me nightmares), but I can't really get over the fact they seem to be trying to tap into the "young-adult-hottie-i.e.-twilight-sparkly-edward" market. Bah.)

Imagine what Jack will do to him though. Hee. *Drifts off on a sea of Jack/11 daydreams.*

Orientation

2009-01-05T18:09:00.000+08:00

was kinda pointless, actually. Alot of headless chickenlike running around. Aggravated my eczema by dunking hands in icewater.

Good thing: book review competition thingy. 500rm and a nano poddy! fun. I figure I can just edit the book report I did for PSS. and maybe enter more than one. Do American Gods (I was fairly ambivalent towards this, strangely. After all, it's Gaiman) and then win! yay! Extra dosh!

Um. What else? Good chicken chop. Met nice girl. dum dum dum.

Down the Drain

2009-01-04T20:49:00.000+08:00

Finished American Gods, can't be arsed to book report it.

Good gods, I have no discipline for anything. Which means I am fucked because I am (re)starting school tomorrow. Hurrah!

I don't know of anyone else who is going to kdu. Which means I am going to have to make friends. Scarifying.

Also, I went for the damn (mandatory, or I would've skeedaddled) 5 hour driving course/ lecture/ complete waste of time thingummy. I nearly feel asleep. Strangely reminded of Mr. Goey's tuition when I'm tired. Now I have to "study" for the undang. (i.e. do all 500 questions and read the Book).

Am now reading Jane Eyre.

New Year Post

2009-01-03T00:04:00.000+08:00

Mandatory. So... Yeah. Oh nine.

Bah Humbug.

2008-12-22T21:53:00.000+08:00

Sooo... I'm going to college! Whee. Ugh. 1 1/2 years of purgatory, I'm expecting (and if this is a-level, imagine what my degree course will be like). At KDU, because I have both employee sibling and former student sibling discount! yay! and will also be getting whatever fee waiver based on actual SPM results. Double yay!

Kind of looking forward to it, actually. If only out of curiosity.

Good news is, my throat hurts marginally less. May be able to swim tomorrow.

New motto: I will be svelte!

(In my dreams)

Still reading American Gods.

had a fantastic dream, can't remember it now.

Carried forward from the previous post because it was too damn long already: A view of Steampunk.

2008-12-19T07:21:00.000+08:00

Steampunk, if you don't know, is a kind of Victorian era science fiction. And I've recently fallen in love with it. Instead of having technology hidden away behind sleek interiors, the mechanics of technology, the whirrings and clickings of the innnards and gears, are allowed and encouraged to be displayed. It's about the intricacies of technology, you know, the delicate bits and pieces that is the makeup, the base of technology, and it heralds the unheralded, and all the mechanics, all the blood and sweat and tears and oil and coal and steam that goes into building something is seen.

And it's a lot more human, less detached from the common view of scifi, with all its workings hidden and known only to a select few who speak the jargon. It's not actually any less complicated, steampunk machinery, if anything, it's more, becuase you have to account for the decorative as well as practical usage. It enables you to see what's going on, in the machines of grandoise designs, and there's a lot of DIY as well, with people builing steampunk versions of handphones and laptops and ipods. Granted, a lot of those modifications are purely cosmetic, but the love for detail is there. Steampunk doesn't simplify, the way modern technology seems to do with everything nowadays, you know, everything is sleeker, smoother, shinier, and phones are marketed by their thinness; "The Samsung Gold 3000 is so thin when you turn it on it's side, it disappears!".

To me, steampunk brings beauty back into technology. Because mechanical beauty is really on the inside. Have you even seen the inside of a CPU and not felt impressed? And think of the car enthusiasts who open the hood of their rides to show the heart and soul of their babies. Surely technology doesn't have to be so sterilised, so mundane. If we opened our computers and handphones and cameras and ipods (actually, not so much the ipods, I opened mine, there's a battery and a harddisk and assorted wires, not very exciting at all), what wonders would we see?
(Disclaimer: Dee does not recommend opening expensive tech without professional help and claims poetic license)

The traditional view of steampunk is usually brass and copper and gears and clockwork. All very earthy and close to nature. Because steampunk encourages you to get in there and get your hands dirty, not only with mechanical things, but also with clothes, you know. Oh, and I love the clothes as well, top hats! and waistcoats! and brass goggles! and long bustle skirts! Fantastic! There's a very DIY attitude to all things steampunk, partly because they're not excatly available at your local hypermarket, but mostly, I like to think, because half the fun is in making your own things, and the pride you feel in wearing hand remade clothes and using hand modified tech.

I would like to say I am a fully active member of the steampunk community, but I'm not. I don't have the panache, sartorial daring or mechanical ability. Still, a girl can dream.

I'm off to bake muffins.

Edit: Okay, the muffins turned out shit. I hate Nigella.

Book Report: Perdido Street Station (China Miéville)

2008-12-19T05:39:00.000+08:00

It's 5:42 AM, according to the computer clock, and I've just finished PSS (and starting on American Gods).

PSS was brilliant. It's set in New Crobuzon, this great big city-state of steam-industry and grime and fantastic alienesque races.

Quick summary of plot: In the winding streets of the sprawling city of New Crobuzon, a human scientist, Isaac Dan der Grimnebulin, accidentally releases a monster that feeds on dreams and sentience: a slake-moth. This singular runt goes on to release its brothersisters (they're hermaphrodites) from captivity in the bowels of the Spike (I think, details all fuzzy now), and the five of them create havoc, as you can imagine, within New Crobuzon. They feed by sucking out the consciousness of all sapient beings, leaving a drooling, unresponsive shell, that cannot be revived. As dangerous as the slake-moths are, they are valuable. Motley, the ganglord of the city, wants them for the production of dreamshit, a hallucinogenic drug that allows the user to dream the dreams of others. The government wants them for... eh, come to think of it, I'm not entirely sure why they're so wanted by the government. Possibly a case of "I want mine back!". Oh, and research, also. Isaac is helped by Derkhan Blueday, a journalist for a renegade, anti-government newsletter, Yagharek, a wingless garuda (great flying bird-man; natural habitat desert; came to Isaac to ask for help with flight), Lemuel Pigeon, a criminal with many contacts (originally hired by Isaac to procure materials for research into flight), and, umm a construct (or robot) with Constructed Intelligence. Which means it's sentient. Or capable of independant thought, if you like. Also, Isaac's lover, Lin, a khepri (which looks like a human woman from the neck down, only with red skin; and an insectoid head) is kind of working for Motley, which rather complicates things.

That wasn't a quick summary at all. And I think I've given some plot away. Oops.

Anyway, reading PSS was... um, I don't want to say torturous, but like torturous, only a lot less. Frankly it was mostly because of me. You see, Miéville likes to use words that escape a 17-year-old's (Malaysian) understanding, like vertiginous (characterized by or suffering from vertigo or dizziness) or etiolated (to make pale; to deprive of natural vigor), and usually when I face those kind of words I just ignore them, 'cause I figure I'll suss out the general meaning of the word from the surrounding, less challenging words, but I literally had to stop every five pages or so to write down an unfamiliar word so I could look it up. Have you any idea how annoying that is? To have to stop midflow in this twisty plot with all the descriptions to note down one word then stress about it for five seconds before being sucked back into the twisty plot so I can find out who gets killed and who doesn't?

And the descriptions, also. So many descriptions! I have issues with descriptions. I tend to gloss over them, which is why I do better with stories like They're Made Out Of Meat (Terry Bison). I suspect it's my obvious lack of fluency in language that stops me from visualising anything. Actually, if I do concentrate and go very very slowly, line by line, I can usually make something out. But I couldn't be bothered this time, because of the twisty plot! Damn you, twisty plot!

Griping aside, it is a great book. I loved the ideas in it. I'm now morbidly fascinated by the Remade. Remade are people who have been sent to the punishment factories to be, literally, remade into something else by adding, replacing, or removing parts of their anatomy. No overcrowded prisons in New Crobuzon. At the discretion of a magistrate, a person can be sentenced to, oh, having legs replaced by steam engines or insect legs, arms replaced by mantis claws, mouths smoothed over with a piece of flesh (the Remade in question ended up cutting himself a new mouth. Yech). One example in particular scared the hell out of me. A woman arrested for infanticide (by accident, she didn't mean to kill the baby, it was hers for heaven's sake) was sentenced to having her baby's arms grafted to her face so she could remember what she had done, while all the while she's going half mad in grief and disbelief.

New Crobuzon is a cruel, cruel place.

And it is, you know, its gritty and dirty and real, somehow. Which may explain my recent love for steampunk.

Oh and Perdido Street Station is the heart of the city, more or less. The railway and skyway lines fan out from the station, and the action eventually ends up there. Although it turns out to be a bit of a Macguffin.

Okay, okay, I'll have to stop before I give the whole thing away. Go read it! Beg borrow, or steal.

Now, the future!

2008-12-18T19:28:00.001+08:00

College intakes start in january, which only serves to elicit a "fuck, what now?" from me. I really only have 3 options: Taylor's, KDU, HELP, in that order (A levels, you see).

I am still so much in a lazing mood. Pah. This is NOT good. I should be getting on with my education and everything, but meh.

Okay this is not going well. May resume some other time. Also, I need to find that icing book with the yule log recipe, which seems to have run off. Double pah.

Also, if Dylan Moran is right, and we should judge how much fun we had on a night out by how much it fucks us up, then with my odd new 3am to 3pm sleep schedule, prom was pretty rockin'.

Two days later,

2008-12-15T22:58:00.000+08:00

Prom was fun! Danced so hard my shoes came off. Walked so far I got blisters. Ow. Worth it though. Now that damn "ayer" song is STUCK in my head. And now I realize why people like those songs.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. There was plenty high drama before prom. I'll just draft out a chronology.

1 to 2.30 pm
Went to the salon to do my hair, pretty uneventful, but ended up with mildly cliched hair. Very pageant-queen-cinderella look, because of the mad dramatic curls. But the lady suggested those cause prom was gonna be in the evening, and she assured me that they'd settle and look more natural by 7, which they did. Sort of.

2.30 to 4.45
watched tv and whatnot

4.45
Slipped into dress, contemplated ginormous palette of makeup warily, heaved a deep breath, got into it.

about 5.00
mum enters, suggests pantyhose (err...), but it has a run in it, so no go.

5.25
Frantically stuff things into infinitesimally minuscule clutch. I wish I has a TARDIS clutch. Someone should invent one.

5.30
coke arrives with ride! Jodie says I look nice (thanks!), coke contemplates his ever increasing age and the rapidity of my growing up ("It seems like just yesterday I was feeding her tomyam in the cot...")

6.00
Arrive in KL. But then...
HOLY FUCKAMOLY and CRAP ON A STICK.
I've forgotten my prom ticket.
desperate call to neal to get violet's number, then desperate call to violet.

"Hello, violet?"
"Yes?"
"This is di-anne."
"Di-anne?"
Awkward pause while she tries to remember who the hell I am.
Vague recollection.
"Oh...right, di-anne"
"Um. I've forgotten my prom ticket, so is it okay if I just turn up?"
"Ah... you'll have to pay 50 bucks [WHAT the FUCK]. Our policy is: no ticket, no entry."
"Okay, thank you [fucking HELL]."

No WAY in hell am I paying FIFTY RINGGIT. I have paid A HUNDRED AND FUCKING FIFTY for the damn ticket already, so piss off.
Dithering in the car to decide whether we turn around.
Not a good idea because KL is now jammed up tighter than a double sealed pneumatic safe.

6.20
Then...aha!
Frantic call to Haq (whose prom, mercifully, is on the same day as mine)

"Hello, err.. how far is your hotel from mine again?"
"Em. Walking distance. Why?"
"Right, this is the problem: I've forgotten my ticket, and I'm not gonna be allowed in unless I pay up, so can you please, please swing by my house to grab it, then I'll rendezvous with you somewhere to get it?"
"Eh... sure. Is your house open?"
"My parents are home, I'm calling them now."
" 'Kay."

[Meanwhile, coke & co. are marvelling at my "liaising" prowess]

6.30
Frantic call to mum.

"Go to my room, the blue cupboard [actually it was a shelf, but I was too frazzled to think of the word at the time], there's a styrofoam box, there's a black ticket in it, get it, and wait, Haq's coming over to get it."

I can tell this is going to take a while if I give a blow by blow description, so long story short, we went to pavilion, to some green tea shop (macha? ocha?), got drinks, went back downstairs to the entrance, w...a...i...t...e...d, jodie & david had to go off for the movie ( The Day The Earth Stood Still, which started at 7 ), waited somemore, then, outside Coach:

7.25
"Thank FUCK you're here!"

A few hasty compliments later, Haq heads off to Grand Millennium, and I, accompanied by coke, walk to Prince.

Oh, and by the way, I was in three-and-a-half inch pumps that night.

Whew!

I got jettisoned to a table with people I hardly knew cause I was late :(. But midway through, I realized Albert's table had 2 empty seats, so I moved over. Has a very nice time with Albert. Was walking around throughout the entire dinner as well.

Took pictures, which I will NOT upload because I look constipated in all of them. The camera quite obviously has issues with me.

Dance-dance-danced the night away.
First sweet if slightly awkward slow dance with Alberto.
After that, it was a free for all. Fun!

Met Coke & co at Starbucks, reached home at bout 2.30. Bathed, waited for hair to dry, stumbled into bed. Slept til 3pm, sleep schedule hasn't been the same since.

All in all, a pretty good night :)

So...ummm.....yeah.

2008-11-27T19:38:00.000+08:00

I feel slightly dazed now. It's true what they say about wanting what you don't have, cause I pretty much can't do anything now. I feel so out of touch with everything. Gah.

I should really:
1. Read
2. Listen
3. Watch (torchwoood)
4. Swim
5. Bake
6. Buy (shoes)
7. Um.
8. Clean (very important; am currently living in pigsty)
9. Research!
10. Apply? (not a chance, my forecast results are ludicrously unrepresentative of my academic abilities... HAH)
11. Laze

Yeah, you know what, I'm gonna do 10 first.

Twilight Bashing! Okay, maybe not 'bashing' per se...(or, Meyer vs. Rice)

2008-08-01T16:05:00.000+08:00

ATTENTION: This review-that-descended-into-an-unfair-comparison is unendingly pretentious and patronising. Be warned

Twilight
Stephanie Meyer
So. I’ve just finished reading a (new) book (that is not borrowed from the library) for the first time…Okay, maybe not so monumental after all.

Aha! Wait! I’ve just finished reading a book by an author I’m not familiar with! Hurray! Wobbly justification for not studying!

Anyway, Meyer is… I don’t know, not great, but not bad either. Mediocre, I guess. I suspect, though, the reason I’m so hard on Twilight is because I’ve been spoilt on the Vampire Chronicles. Show me a vampire series as beautifully dark and terrible as that one, and I’ll show you a flying pig.

Truthfully, however, it’s pretty good. IF you’ve not read the great Anne Rice. I can see why there’s a craze about it in school though. It’s equal parts romance and action, and sadness and bittersweet…ness. And, if you haven’t met Lestat or Armand , Edward Cullen will be the most beautiful creature you have ever read. All translucent beauty and alabaster skin, with eyes that alternate between the inkiest black to tawny gold. Although I might add, she does ruin it a bit by having Bella drool over him endlessly (there goes the Rice breeding again. It’s a teen novel, dee, get a grip).

But then again, Rice’s vampires drool too, over fragile humans no less. I think it all boils down to language. Rice is ethereal and disturbing and true... her vampires are mirrors of us, an indication of what we might become if we could live forever. They think nothing of killing, they are ruthless, yet they love beauty, and can appreciate the minutest details of life, thanks to preternaturally powerful eyesight. To see the world in a grain of sand/ and heaven in a wild flower/ hold infinity in the palm of your hand/ and eternity in a hour. They know what they are, and some, especially if they are taken by force, hate it, but mostly they relish it, revelling in what they are and always will be, feeding discreetly, covering up from humans with gloves and sunglasses, loving and living out eternity, or at least until Mekare and Maharet are destroyed.

Erm. Got sidetracked there. I think this was started as a review, not a comparison. Meh, I might as well…

Since I’m already on about Lestat and Armand, I may as well add that Meyer’s descriptions of her vampires are suspiciously similar to Rice’s, albeit a bit watered down. In her defence, though, there are only so many ways vampires can be described (for the uninitiated, the compulsory characteristics are pale, cold skin, gorgeous, vividly coloured eyes, and a dazzling (again, a word used by both Meyer and Rice) presence).

Ah, Edward. Edward, Edward. Born in 1901, yet seventeen forever (*cough*Armand*cough*). Devastatingly beautiful (and muscular to boot), elegantly pale, dangerous when roused, loving when with Bella, a Greek god, Adonis come to life. And who apparently, speaks with an archaic cadence (for want of a better word. I know its not right, but I can’t find a better one. I can’t remember the one used in the novel). And like a dog coming back to its marked territory, we return to the problem of language. Personally, I think Meyer’s language is too simple to do justice to the preternatural beauty of a vampire, much less one who has lived for a hundred years. Of course, one could argue, Edward may have been assimilated into modern society for so long that the little hints of his old world splendour seen in the novel are sufficient. But STILL (yes, I do realize the flaw in my argument here. Not so much an argument as two whiny words). Also, sometimes there are far too many adjectives. Too often we are reminded of Edward’s comeliness, of the coolness that is his skin. Again, it’s the teen novel thing. Bella is obviously infatuated with him (hel-lo, insanely handsome gentleman? I think I speak on behalf of most girls that I would hunt him down ruthlessly, vampire or no), so she spends most of her time thinking of him, missing him, wanting him. She is, after all, a seventeen-year-old who is just having her first taste of romance.

(Also also, I’ve just remembered what I thought while reading, that Edward is a watered down Louis. Kind and gentle and not wanting feed on humans and loving one woman. Well, little girl in Louis’s case, but her mind grows, if her body does not.)

And then we come to Bella. I’m sorry, but it’s terribly difficult to sympathise with her. Too generic YA novel heroine. Outcast at former school? Check. Pale, pale skin in midst of tanned high school? Check. Divorced parents, complicated family life? Check. Hottest guy in new school falls for her? Check. Unsure why she is so beloved by aforementioned hottest guy in school? Thinks she’s not worth it? Hell yeah, check.

I can genuinely tell you that I wanted Bella to be turned vampire at the end. But I think the whole Twilight series would have ended then and there. The thing is, I feel that Meyer’s whole plot is built upon the impossible, forbidden love between Bella and Edward (much like to forbidden fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, as quoted from Genesis at the beginning of the novel), and to make them equal would be condemning them to an eternity of happiness and love. At which point there would be nothing to write about. All conflict in Twilight stems from the fact the he is a vampire; she is not. It is difficult for him to hold her while her blood still runs enticingly in her veins, but he persists. At the end, she wants to become like him, to accompany him into eternity, but he will not let her. Anne Rice can get away with this kind of thing (and trust me, she does this all the time, turning the human the vampire loves into a similarly immortal blooddrinker) because (a) her prose describes all vampiric activities to perfection and (b) her vampires are more than what they seem. They are not only defined by their love for humans, or their blooddrinking. They all have exquisitely tortured pasts, and each move they make, what they do, who they choose to be their lifelong companions, seem to be determined by their pasts. In Twilight, unfortunately, even Carlisle’s (I love that name) tale of woe is… well, not fleshed out enough.

I think the only way this book(s) can redeem itself is if the young adults who have outgrown it go on to discover the Vampire Chronicles. I'm trying to think of Twilight now as a stepping stone to VC, as opposed to a fanfiction. This is the only thing that is stopping me from burning them and yelling to the world:"What are you DOING? Read ANNE RICE!". Bah.

Oh, and depite being hailed as the new JK Rowling, she's got nothing on JK, either.

It seems to me were it not for the vampire twist, Twilight would be just another teen I-have-lots-of-problems-and-can’t-fit-in type romance novel. Fortunately for us, it is not. You see, despite all my griping and whining and (frankly unfair) comparisons to Anne Rice, I have decided to like this novel (just barely). I'm not one to reject novels because they are too simple. Its refreshing to read this, actually, as I don't have to think. Despite the mild plagiarism, and against my better judgement, I think its...fine. As to its forthcoming sequels, I will have to read them before I decide. I refuse to dislike on hearsay.

… and also also, this is being made into a movie! *fangirl sqeee*! Diggory is perfect for Edward.
You must agree.

Dramarama

2008-04-15T16:55:00.000+08:00

We did not get through to state level. Oh well, c'est la vie. Besides, the judges were total... um, guanos =).

Yes, yes, 'tis not mature to blame this on someone else, but STILL. We were pitch pefect, for pete's sake (*ahem*). The cast emoted and projected flawlessly, crew were peerless in moving props in and out. Admittedly, sound was a bit wonky (remember to pay attention, di-anne), but everything else was impeccable.

Anyway, the cast has improved insanely since day one. I am so proud of them. All of them. Soph, albert, jia hong, michelle, shaun, alex, maxine, calvin, daena, tyron, and the two bestest people ever!: Parvinder Kaur and Winnie Tan Zhi Ping. I love love love you all!

(this will/might be continued if/when I get the pictures)

Oh, and everyone should listen to: Heloise and the Savoir Faire. Dance-y synthpop electrodisco. Try Illusions, my favourite so far.

The Story of the Bald Frog with the Wig

2008-03-23T16:32:00.000+08:00

(This whole story came from the random question generator on the profiles page. the original question was

The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with the wig:

There was once a frog. Not a very wise frog, but wise enough to know when spring was coming so he could burrow out of his hibernatory mudhole to greet the new day.

One day, he saw humans. A little boy and a little girl, to be exact. The little girl, who had been terribly sheltered (this was the first time she had been out of the House since the plague, which had started before she was born), said to the little boy (who was her brother, older and wiser in years and experience), "Oh! Look at the poor ickle frog, with not a strand of hair on his ickle head. How strange!"

For, you see, her reading books had been filled with fanciful, anthropomorphised creatures. Bipedal dogs, monocled cats, top hatted sparrows, the very picture of civilisation. And the frogs, in the imagination of the reading book writer, were always, always, judges. Impartial and composed and sober, always hearing each piece of evidence before passing fair judgement on each case.

(In fact, there was a case which stuck out in her mind, of the tuxedo cat v. the greyhound, involving several pounds of goat meat, rohypnol, and a distressed mouse that had impressed her highly due to the impartiality of the frog-judge in declaring the greyhound (who was the crowd favourite) guilty, and his cool logic in recounting the details of the case in the face of a rising mob, the specifics of which are far too long to involve in this tale, which is getting convoluted enough already as it is, and so we will tackle it another day, perhaps.)

So she had been accustomed, through no fault of hers to seeing good, honourable frogs in their black flowing robes, perfectly round tortoiseshell spectacles and dust white wigs. It was no surprise, then, when on her first jaunt Outside (which was what she called the world beyond the mahogany blind doors; the House was Inside), on spotting a Common Frog (Latin name Rana temporariam, size nine centimetres, olive-brown with yellow markings) who was in all aspects highly respected in the pond community, she would denounce it as follically challenged and, most hurtfully to the frog, strange.

While the frog (who had really been set upon quite unfairly, he thought) was ruminating on the unfairness of the human race and its narrow views on species other than themselves, the little girl and the little boy were called back to the House by the Patriarch, who had all the while been watching them, hawk-eyed, fox-during-a-hunt wary, through high powered binoculars. They have had enough, he thought, of green earth and sunshine. A bit of dark floor and fluorescent lighting never hurt anyone, he mused, all the while stroking a picture in an elaborate gilt frame with white, spidery, scar-ridden hands adorned by a murky emerald signet. Ah, Genevieve, he said to the woman in the picture, the woman in the chiffon flower-patterned dress, blowing about her knees on a blustery summer day long past, would that you were here to see our children running in the green green grass of the (at long last) plague free plains.

Meanwhile, the frog (who really was feeling very displeased), decided to go out into the wide world, to seek his fortune (which was what he told his dear mother, who, upon hearing the news, fainted, was revived with smelling salts, and upon awakening declared him no longer her son, then broke down into tears and begged him not to leave, and then, when the tears dried, accepted the news stoically and made ten lunches’ worth of fly sandwiches for him “for the road”, she said. All in the space of ten minutes).

But really, if he was honest with himself, he wanted to find a wig. A wig as majestic as a pharaohs’, as dainty as a lady’s, as uncorrupted as a judges’. A wig to impress the little girl (who was not at all a bad looker, he agreed with himself, while nibbling on a fly sandwich. Just a wee bit air headed, maybe.). A handsome, aristocratic wig to knock the socks off the little girl living in the shadow of the House on the (at long last) plague free plains.

Must Resolve to Blog More Often

2008-03-14T20:11:00.000+08:00

Or at least, write more often.

Must get proper journal. It's such a bitch to find just a simple, hardcover lined/unlined book. They're all either dated by day or have irritating little "inspiring quotes" at the bottom of every other page. Look, I bought this book, and I'm gonna be choosing my own quites, capsice?

Gah. I'm hiccuping again. I'm very supsceptible to hiccups. I suspect it's because I inhale my food. I read in White Fang (Jack London) or somewhere that wild wolves gulp down their food very fast because other wolves'll steal it right out of the slow eater's mouths.
Food is hard to come by in the Yukon.
I s'pose that's where to wolf [food] down comes from.

Just checked in the occasionally helpful yet occasioanally misleading wikipedia that hiccups are known to develop often in specific situations, such as eating too quickly, taking a cold drink while eating a hot meal, belching, eating very hot or spicy food, laughing vigorously or ... (etc, etc. Go to the page for full info)

ooh. Me hiccups have ceased. Yesss. And also, I read somewhere else that a girl once hiccuped for two weeks nonstop. Yikes.

Everyone should listen to Andrew Bird.

To New Beginnings, and...

2008-01-04T15:02:00.000+08:00

School has started.
(It is the first weekend of the school term)

You'd think, right, that I'd be blogging more often during the holidays. But nooo... I posted at the beginning of le hols last year (fucksocks! It's 2008! I have to say "last year"! Arrrghhh!), and haven't touched the keyboard (not for blogging, anyway) since.

It is the start of SPM year. It surprises me how much form 5's have to do in their last year. They head all the clubs and societies and have to liaise with teachers, teachers expect them to be responsible and do literally everything by themselves, and above all that, they have to maintain excellent grades, or "I will be very disappointed in you."

I mean, why not have everything happen in form 4? We'd be old enough to be "responsible", and the study pressure won't be as hard on us if we were in form 5. In my brother's time (13 years ago), the form 4s headed everything. The head prefect was a form 4, for example. Obviously people seem to think the age of maturity has lowered. They might well be right :S.

Oh, crap! My brother's turning 30 this year! I'm gonna have a middled-aged brother!

Having two much-older brothers is actually quite a convenient arrangement. Both of them aren't living here anymore, so I feel like an only child most of the time. I don't have to fight with anyone for anything. What's more, on my birthday I get $, 'cause they're workin' and reapin' in the dosh. It prolly does get lonely, but I'm used to it. 'Sides, I've got the intornet.

I was just going on about school.
They gave us a little practice karangan and essay to fill up our time while we wait for the textbooks (which I've foolishly bought. Bah), and I wrote some crappy pieces (yes, even in english, WHICH, I might say in defense of myself, was a formal letter. I mean, come on, how can you judge someone's proficiency in writing through a formal letter?! It's got a format! for pete's sake).

Hmph.

badumdumdum

2007-11-15T15:30:00.000+08:00

I have a blog. again. this is my... one, two, three, fourth! one. I never have the discipline to keep these things going. It seems like my life is entirely too dull to be worth blogging about.

(The url for this blog, as you've probably noticed, is invisibleleathertardis.blogspot.com. It comes from this comic. I was going to make it verbosity related, but all the urls were taken. I think it's a good thing. Invisible Leather TARDIS is so much catchier. I might change the blog name as well. And yes, I am a Doctor Who fan. Christopher Eccleston FTW! Hee. Might blog on that later)

Anywho, the end term holidays have officialy started, and I've not been doing much. Lots of people have been getting jobs, and I do want a job, if only for the moolah, but... blargh. I want a bookshop job.

and ooh! I might be getting a cat!

I love 'im. He's black with white socks and white vest and belly. He licks and bites. Well more nibbles, but you have to stop him before he chomps on your finger. Dad doesn't usually like cats (dog person) but he seems to be fond of this one.
He's been talking about getting it dewormed, shots, neutered, et cetera, then we can bring it in! Yay!
Although I do feel a twinge of guilt, 'cause I think it does belong to someone. It's so friendly and unafraid of humans. Plus, I think it's a housecat 'cause it keeps trying to get in the house. It pains me to have to shut the door on him.

But he's a good cat. He doesn't drop fur, listens to orders (say "NO" forcefully and he won't come in the house), is terribly affectionate (he'll rub himself against my legs)...

I wanna name him Captain Jack. For Sparrow and Harkness.

Dad wants to name him Schwarz, which means black in german, and Jeek has already nicknamed him Sylvester. Y'know, Sylvester J. Pussycat, Sr, the cat that keeps trying to eat Tweety.

He does look like Sylvester...

ooh, Boston Legal's on.