i won't stop until that boy is mine

:O

ty sue vern for getting that song stuck in my head, which i was never really fond of in the first place (Y).

today is the day i do my homework.






brb watching being human then procrastinating.

OH I HAVE FOUND A RUSSELL TOVEY LOOKALIKE. FIRST ZQ NOW RUSSELL. THIS IS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER.

the vilification of lonelines

is sadly rampant.

to be lonely is to be creepy and suspicious. it is to be a lurker, to “not belong”, to be abnormal, subnormal.

this is pretty much yet another manifestation of society’s inability to accept the different. don’t want to join in? we reject you, utterly, before you can even defend yourself.

why do we not allow people to be alone? why do we suspect them of planning the most dastardly of deeds, the most gruesome of crimes, the most immoral of acts?

and in extension, why the constant pressure to ~find your soulmate?

(digression: this was brought to mind by that highly whiny “two is better than one” excuse for a song by whatsthatband and whatsherface, but then there have always been cheesy love songs about finding the one, among them most recently “haven’t met you yet” which frankly is a hope-song for the currently lonely, which again brings me back to my point of why do we not allow the lonely to be alone?)

i suppose the problem is that i am not sure if i can stand to be lonely anymore. i used to revel in it, to enjoy the sheer freedom of not being obligated to anyone, but since i chanced upon a social life (and an “other half”, ho hum) completely by accident (i swear), i feel gaps when i am alone. i like to think i am still as comfortable with my thoughts, but there are missing things.

(damn you acclimatisation. i need to revert asap)

people must be afraid of themselves, to fear solitude so much. when you are alone, you have to face every facet of yourself. yes, those are your thoughts floating in the dark deep recesses of your mind, and those are your hopes and dreams and fears. this is the very essence of yourself, distilled into a pool of what is unapologetically you.

summary: i have begun to fear myself, and i need to stop.

(this was supposed to be a longer post; i need to learn how to organise my ideas)

where do we go/nobody knows

i am contemplating buying that radiohead best of.

so, i fell asleep at 6pm and just got up at 12 am for dinner. wat just happened.

am now, at 1am, waiting for the hot water so i can have a bath.

and, hopefully, go back to sleep.


(people are hard to figure out)
(but i still like them)